In this modern age, where we seem so far removed from the expectations of our own parents or grandparents- where a look would stop you in your tracks.
The way kids talk today, relate to each other and adults (with more technology than interaction) , and expect things in ways that may feel alien to us or out of sync with what we think makes sense; those things are hard to manage.
IT IS CLEAR that it's healthy, natural, and beneficial to have realistic expectations of our children, and to generate healthy communication with them-
- that they participate in a family community
- that they have a role in caring for the family environment
- that until that garbage gets walked to the curb, there will be no xbox, cellphone, ipad, ipod, laptop, wifi, apple watch, smart techno-nothing!
- that there is a social world out there with some powerful forces, and that those forces are not meant to simply override or pre-empt good judgment.
- that the laws of causality are always in effect- that each decision or choice has consequences-whether we know or see them or not.
- that those consequences are not within a child's or teen's control
- I and ME are not the center of the known universe-and YET they do matter a great deal.
Our children are citizens of the world and need to learn limits, boundaries, respect for others and themselves. They need to know that their decisions, ideas, behaviors all have an influence on the world as we experience it.
When parents feel challenged by their children, and the attitudes of the peer cultures from ages 6 to18 to24, it's difficult sometimes to find an ally who can hear what you're experiencing because it stirs up all kinds of emotional 'stuff'. When the social and interactional pressures of living in the area come to bear upon our children, it can be difficult to have those needed conversations about what's happening and what to do about it!
Being able to process some of those issues in the safety of a judgement free and essentially neutral context - out of the fray- can be really restorative and help parents develop strategies to bridge the gap and deepen relationships. Using the therapy venue to process that experience can foster and develop a nurturing, interactive, and collabortive approach to bridging the GAP between parents and their kids.
When searching for expertise or knowledge about "parenting", what is sometimes missing is the proper objective place to process the concerns, unique family dynamics, and unclear expectations on all sides that collide into the discomfort and conflict and disconnection between family members. The conversation about our own reactions and experiences as a parent can unlock some of the barriers to 'nurture' and care.
When parents disagree about what's "really" important, a chasm builds between the parent team, and that fracture can be the source of emotional strain, relationship stress, and increased conflict. When parents can talk through divergent views and needs and come to concensus on what's "GOOD ENOUGH" for both, a united and energized parenting couple can re-emerge to bring increased harmony and co-parenting to the fore.
Consider whether such conversations might be a road to a healthier family in times of tension and conflict around parenting. We're here to walk you through it.